Express Yourself- N.W.A.
Award Tour- A Tribe Called Quest-
Life of the Party- Little Brother
Ghetto America- Skyzoo
American Me- C.L. Smooth
Street Opera- Ghostface Killah Feat. Sun God
All Said & Done- Evidence featuring Kobe
Put Something Down On It- Murs
Stuck On You- Prodigy
Growin' Old- Pigeon John
Smile Remix- Wale
Don't Forget Em- Consequence
Neva Forget- Cali Agents
Fire In The Eye- Brother Ali
Hat 2 the Bacc- Snoop Dogg & Western Union
Hip Hop Lives- Krs-One & Marley Marl
Please Listen- Wale
Caught_In_A_Hustle- Immortal Technique
'Til We Get There- M-1
The People- Common

If there is one thing I’ve learned in my communications class this summer it’s that everything we see in mass media, television and magazines specifically, is to get us to buy. Buy, buy, buy, consume, consume, consume. No matter how broke we are, we all want that new trinket, matter of fact we feel entitled to it. We work hard, forty hours a week and some, why shouldn’t we be able to have the car, the clothes, and the products we want. At the end of the day all I want is to pay my rent, car note, and be able to go to the bar have a drink with some friends, and maybe even cop a nice pair of kicks and still have some cash to put aside. But what happens when that’s not the case, when the ends don’t meant? What happens when the money isn’t there but I want that brew or I want those shoes. I go to school, I work, I handle mines, I deserve that shit. Do ‘buy now cry later?’

Living in LA, I look around and I see the way people splurge on the ‘finer’ things, and I think ‘where’s this money coming from?’ Everybody ain’t balling like that. How many people have a Benz or Beamer and still live in an apartment where they pay rent? How many Hondas and Corollas have 22 inch rims, but the driver has no savings? People paying $800 car notes, buying rounds at the bar and have no investments.

I’m guilty of the same ‘buy now, cry later’ mentality. But my spider sense tells me that it’s a dangerous game. Times is rough… I look at gas prices, grocery prices, rental rates, and the cost of purchasing a home, and “the cost of living preposterous.” I see new housing developments with hefty price tags, and I wonder who can afford them. In a recent LA Times article Countrywide home loans reported that the number of people defaulting on their home loans is rising. The number is higher than it was this time last year. I knew it was bad, I sensed it. All that fronting is catching up. Still in denial? Check out this article that talks about the rise in foreclosures in the state. “People have stretched their finances to the breaking point,” it states.

You wouldn’t know just how rough these times are by watching television. No where in our mass media do we see people struggling like most of us seem to be. Why, because they have to make us feel good enough to want to go shop. If everybody stopped and realized just how broke we are, we might just wonder what the fuck is going on and rethink this whole ‘buy now cry later’ mentality. And we might even stop and rethink our leadership who bitch over providing us free healthcare, but have no qualms about spending a billion dollars a day in another country. It’s all mathematics though. There’s only so much of us they can sweep under the rug. Pretty soon we won’t be under the rug, the rug will be on top of us. They’ll make arrangements for us in the disguise of accommodations. For us here in LA who feel the rising cost of rents don’t trip, they’ve got plans for us. Especially those of us on the Westside, we’re not wanted. We’re taking up valuable space, therefore they’re being ‘innovative’ and creating new spaces for us.

All this talk about immigrants taking jobs, I want to know what immigrant has a job that pays a salary anywhere near enough to match the cost of living. I'd guess that we have more in common with immigrants than we do our leaders. They ain't fooling me, my edges are sharp but my ends don't meet- I ain't no square.

The last couple of weeks I’ve been really busy. It’s all a breeze. I could try to remember exactly what I did last week, but it's easier to just type. I did get a promotion! Or should I say, had a change of position with an increase in workload (no raise as of yet) this month. I'm a 'Grant Writer." I can officially call myself a writer, because it’s in my title! People will be reading my shit like they get paid to do it (and they will). Hundreds of thousands of dollars will depend on my shit. I wish karma were more black and white, more quick... I wish and came around quick like a bommerang (remember how cool those used to be). That way if I made a million dollars writing for the cause, there would be no doubt that shit was coming back around to my pockets.

Everyone says Grant Writing is a really good skill to have. They call it lucrative, but of course there's a catch. I have to wait for the return (story of my life). I'm trying to look at it as a blessing in disguise. The position was literally handed to me. I have absolutely no experience and they're willing to train me from scratch. It's weak on the green but heavy on the 'E' (experience).

I've had 'assistant' attached to my title for almost five years. Before this promotion change of position shit was looking pretty bad yo. I'm looking at two more years in the bing school. The way things were going I would have graduated at 28-29 with a creative writing degree and still been working as an assistant. Now when I graduate, if I haven't already started eating up trees like Stephen King, I’ll at least have something in the tool kit. It’s what they call insurance, but even better because I'm paying the premiums to myself.

Transitioning from assistant to 'do this by (insert date here), has been a challenge. I went from Hotmail, to Allhiphop.com, to Myspace.com, to DaveyD.com, to Okayplayer.com, to Ebay and back again, to checking my email two to three times a day. I couldn't do homework on job time if I wanted to. And even if I did have the time, now I sit in a cubicle where my back is to an open door. If I'd ever been to prison the shit might not work! It's like someone’s holding a gun to my head, like 'get to work!' And I do.

I work in 90 to 120 minute spurts. I don't struggle to stay in my seat anymore. I get so consumed in the work I just don't think about getting up. Music keeps me conscience of the time. If I listen to an album straight through I feel like I’ve made some progress. It's weird though; I've never been into listening to music while I write. I’ve always thought of it as a distraction. But at work, it helps me focus... it drowns out the silence and kills the restlessness. I can't do rap though; it's got to be something soft. The past couple of weeks I've been bouncing back and forth between Amy Winehouse and John Legend. I tried to do some Sean Price, but I get to nodding and shit, pretty soon I'm singing alone, and then I'm wasting time rewinding and skipping to specific tracks.

The writing is pretty dry, but it's not bad- just a different. I can't say it feels good or it's fun, but I am trying to be patient with it. The lack of monetary compensation is feeding my half cynic half shit (I can be 100% of both on any given day) talking side. I heard this today and I’ll try to keep it in mind: “A cynic knows the cost of everything, and the value of nothing.” In due time… I’ll take it one day at a time and be patient. I must admit, it does feel good to actually use my brain. I don't input shit into a database anymore- I look up shit for research purposes.

I finished a draft for my first assignment today. It's a report for a grant we received to support our Environmental Justice Fund (EJF). Environmental justice is an extremely important issue. People developing cancer and asthma, women suffering from miscarriages, all impacted by the transfer of goods. That's not all it is, but in LA the transfer of goods is a major factor. Anyway, until now I've always found the shit boring to read about it. I'll read a headline, maybe read the first couple of paragraphs in an article, and that's it. Boring is a strong word though (I don't want to dissuade anyone from checking it out), I should say it's just not something that floats my boat. So the last five years, I've avoided the topic. But over the last two weeks I've been immersed in it (I didn't drown). It's actually pretty interesting. LA is in a unique position, our mayor is dedicated to "Greening LA." That is developing ways to keep the goods moving, but doing it in a way that doesn't hurt the citizens or the environment (arrrghhhh- must not let work take over blog).

That’s it! Three more weeks of SMC and I'm OUT!

p.s. I’m listening to southernplayalisticadillacmuzik . And if I had some money I’d cop these:

I have to admit, one of the benefits of being in a relationship with someone of a different ethnicity is the food.

Take Adobo for instance. I can eat the stuff on a daily basis if I had to. Who would have ever thought that I'd get so excited over boiled Chicken and rice? Growing up there were times I resented my mom for constantly cooking fried chicken and rice. And if the chicken wasn't fried it was baked. And when it wasn't chicken it was pork chop. But no matter what there was always a pile of rice on the side and I hated it! Ten years later and all you have to do is add some soy sauce, pepper, garlic, and calamansi and it's freaking crème de la crème.

It's the same with Salmon. My mom used to cook Salmon and I hated it. The only fish I enjoyed eating was fried. The flavor of fish has never been all that appealing, it's the seasoning. So if it wasn't fried I didn't like it, because the flavor was in the grease and cornbread (i think it was cornbread).

Needless to say, the first time Emily made Salmon for me I didn't expect much. The size of the cut threw me off... I was used to little slabs of salmon that could fit in the palm of my hand. Emily pulls out a slab of Salmon so big it looked like it came off something with arms, legs and a name. Where the hell do you get a slice of salmon 18 inches long and 6 inches thick? But evidently there are endless supplies of it because it's always in the fridge. Anyway, Emily rubbed the "meat" down with mayonnaise, added some soy sauce and calamansi, and baked it. After it was done, it smelled too good to be fish. Again, served with rice and it was crème de la crème.

At this point it's safe to say that I'll eat anything with soy sauce and calamonsi. If you added some soy sauce and calamonsi to Dinuguan I just might try it.

So we have chicken and fish, you gotta have beef right. Growing up, there were times when all I'd eat for dinner was a T-Bone steak. I'd eat the meat and suck on the bone for another hour (my uncle used to sauté a steak in parsley and garlic and it was the best. Drowned in hot sauce and it was heaven). I didn' think it could get any better until Emily cooked 'Beef Steak.' Not steak, 'Beef Steak.' Why is it called 'Beef Steak' instead of just 'Steak?' Isn't all steak beef? I don't know, but the important thing is she boiled it in, guess what? Soy sauce, and calamonsi. Crème de la crème.

Finally there's Lumpia, something like an eggroll, but not really cause I can eat them like peanuts. Give me a nice cold beer (San Miguel of course) and a bowl of Lumpia and I'm chillin.

With food so good, there's got to be catch right? I must warn you that there are side effects to eating 'ethnic' foods. For example, Emily and Filipinos a like eat with a fork and spoon. I used to laugh at Emily and tease her about this. No knife, just a spoon and fork. But see there's a method to the madness. I'd look at Em's plate and it'd be spotless when she was done. I'd trip out, but it was one of those things that's interesting but you don't think to speak on it. So years went by and each time I'd think to myself "how the hell does she get every single grain of rice of her plate?"

One day she told me to try using the spoon and fork. So I did, and I must admit the combo does is efficient. I too cleaned my plate just as well as Emily's, I didn't think it could be done. I figured she was either skilled or had a healthy appetite. I was ignorant though! The spoon and fork combo allows one to slice, dice, and bite without having to use a knife. Both allow you to lift food into your mouth, unlike a knife where you risk cutting your lip and is just useless when it comes to a pile of rice. In short, if I were cursed and had to eat Hooters hot wings using utensils only, I'd choose a spoon and fork.

Back to the side effects:
It was probably a year ago I used a spoon and fork for the first time. It wasn't something that I took to. It was cool, but I'd done just fine with my fork for the last 25 years. At least that's what I thought... Today at lunch I had some left over Adobo that Emily made. I couldn't wait to get to it. I warmed it up in the microwave, grabbed the day's paper, and sat down to grub. It wasn't until I was down to my last bite that I looked at my hands, and what do I see? A spoon and fork! I didn't even realize it.

Today in Comm class this girl (I’ll call her Tess) was talking about her experiences with sexism in the military. She talked about how she worked her way up the ranks the hard way, and how she had to be a “bitch” to get respect. Tess let her disdain for the women who worked their way up the “easy” way be known. The irony was that those women who slept their way to the top couldn’t get respect once they got there.

Sexism in the military is old news. Remember GI Jane with Demi Moore? I’ve never even seen the movie but I know what it was about. There was something weird about hearing Tess talk about sexism today. Like when she said “sleep their way to the top,” it almost sounds cliché… I thought to myself “people still do that?” Maybe I’m just a little detached… For the last five years I’ve worked in an office where 100% of management is female. And I can’t imagine any of them “sleeping their way to the top” even if they did have the opportunity (They cringe when I say Hooters).

All the talk about sexism through me off but what really tripped me out is when Tess talked about “snitching.” She said, “you don’t snitch, because when you get shipped out, who wants to have their life in the hands of snitch? A snitch can’t be trusted.” It reminded me of all the controversy that went on when dudes started wearing those “Stop Snitching” t-shirts in the hood (I think that was mostly east coast though, I never saw one out here). Police and politicians were crying foul saying how the “Stop Snitching” credo was a street mentality and only contributed or perpetuated crime in neighborhoods.

For the record, I have no problem going to police if I or a member of my family is the victim of a crime. In my opinion that’s not snitching. In my opinion Busta Rhymes should talked to police about the murder of his bodyguard… out of respect to dude and his family. To not speak to adhere to the no snitching creed implies that dude had a hand in the situation… that would be snitching right. If Busta got caught with his hand in the cookie jar and pointed the finger at another dude. What gets me is how law enforcement and law makers point the finger at gangs and even hip-hop when the same no snitching credo holds weight in the military.

It goes all the way to the top! Check it: Bush spares Libby from 2 1/2-year prison term. Didn’t Libby do the same shit Lil Kim and Martha Stewart did time for?! He lied to a grand jury- obstruction of justice. Yet, this fucker gets pardoned- my bad he gets his sentenced “commuted,” which means he doesn’t go to jail. But the $250,000 fine (which he’ll probably recoup after a couple interviews) and two years probation sticks. Talk about sexism and hypocrisy. These dudes have no shame… now that’s GANGSTA

Labels: politrix